Please, try to understand
by O'Nyme
Summary: Alucard is trying to make Walter guess something crucial, but will Walter understand before it's too late? Slight Girlycard X Walter


Disclaimer : I don't own Hellsing nor its characters

Summary: Alucard tries to warns Walter of an impending change for the both of them, but his partner doesn't understand... until it's too late.

Separation

The day had come to an end long ago but Walter was still awake. He was smoking a cigarette, lying down on his bed, looking emotionlessly at the ceiling. The nights had been calm for the last six months, as if every vampire had left England. Or at least powerful vampires. The others could be handled by the soldiers and therefore, he had nothing to do.

After a while, Walter felt someone's presence in his room. The butler bent his head on one side to acknowledge his girl-looking partner leaning against the wall opposite to him. The raven-haired vampire slouched along keeping his head low. Long, black strands of hair were covering his eyes. When he reached the bed, he unconsciously straightened his white suit and slowly lay down on one side but kept his eyes out of the other's sight.

Walter had known Alucard for some years now and he could say that his comrade in arms was acting strangely. His partner would not appear to anyone just to remain silent; he always had a reason to show up, good or bad. Walter frowned and put out his cigarette to let it rest in the ashtray on the bedside table.

_Maybe he is bored._

The butler rolled on his side and gently lifted Alucard's chin up to look closely at his eyes. The vampire offered no resistance. In his look, the butler could see weariness but there was also something else... Sadness. Yes, sadness indeed. Walter was disconcerted. Alucard was always there to comfort him when he was sad, even if it was in his very own way. He used to be there anyway and Walter knew he could rely on him as a partner. The problem was that he had never imagined Alucard would show him such a side of himself.

- " What's wrong ?", the butler asked with concern.

Instead of answering, Alucard came closer to him and stretched his hand out. Despite his surprise, Walter didn't move. The long, thin fingers undid the string that was holding his ponytail, letting the black hair fall on his shoulders. The vampire played thoughtfully with a few of those strands of hair:

- " I remember you were short-haired not so long ago. "

- " Yes, I remember that too. I was a teenager at that time", he chuckled, hoping to aleviate his partner's mood.

- " I've known you for some times then. "

- " Indeed ".

- " You've changed a lot. You've gone to the good ", he said with a sly smile.

- " What's wrong Alucard ?", he asked him, thinking that things were really shaping strangely.

Once again, the girl-looking vampire didn't answer ; his look even darkened. It seemed that he wouldn't say anything more now.

_After all, he's not the confiding type._

The vampire was lost in thought when he realized Walter had started stroking his hair too. Alucard looked at the butler with wonder ; the young man smiled gently at him; it was the only thing he could think of doing to help his partner. As if feeling slightly better, the girl-looking creature smiled back.

The reassuring game went on for a long part of the night. Walter knew it would be of no use to harass the vampire with questions, nor to try and convince him to talk; however, Walter hoped to hear confide to him any minute. At last, a few hours before dawn, Alucard spoke up :

- " It's nice to work with you, you know. "

- " Thank you."

- " I would never find a partner such as you, I guess."

- " Why would you do ? I'm still alive. And I'm not that old", he replied with a slight smile.

- " I know, but maybe your lifetime won't last enough for me."

Walter was feeling more and more surprised. What on earth was Alucard saying? Or rather, what was _he_ supposed to guess? The butler felt confusedly that he had to understand quickly for a feeling of danger was making his heart race. Alucard stopped stroking the man's hair:

- " I've got to go", he said weakly.

The butler let go of the vampire's hair almost reluctantly, his heart suddenly jumping in his chest. They both stared at each other expectantly; Walter's visible anguish was only met by a questioning look. Both were waiting for the other to say something but the only answer they got was silence.

Alucard gingerly leaned over the man in front of him and gave him a chaste, gentle kiss. Finding uncomprehensible solace in it, Walter didn't prevent the action and even encouraged it. When Alucard parted, the butler was sure that his partner had shared for a while his feeling of inner peace.

The vampire jumped off the bed and slowly reached the door.

- " Come back tonight", Walter proposed, hope piercing in his voice.

But this proposal didn't seem to be welcome. The butler saw his partner lower his head, black strands of hair covering his eyes. His hand resting on the door knob. Walter felt guilty for making his sorrow come back but before he could apologize, Alucard spoke up :

- " I'll miss you, you know."

- " Don't worry. The day won't be that long", he smiled gently. But who was he trying to reassure?

- " I hope so ", Alucard answered in a murmur.

The vampire then exited the room. Feeling his anxiety and grief raise again, Walter wondered once more what was going on Alucard's mind.

Yet it didn't prevent him from falling asleep a few minutes later.

When the butler woke up he was still feeling oddly sad but pushed his dull thoughts aside to accomplish his duty. He went to Arthur Hellsing's office to go and check if his master needed his services. As he entered the noiseless room, he noticed that the Hellsing leader was finishing a bottle of whisky, which meant he was worried.

- " I was about to call you, Walter."

- " Did you need something Sir ?"

- " I wanted to talk to you."

The man gestured for the butler to sit down in front of him. Then the older man took an intake of air :

- "I'll go straight to the fact. Since the war is over there is no more mission for the both of you and Alucard, as you've noticed. Besides, you surely know the Round Table doesn't find it appropriate to keep a vampire around."

- " Yes, I heard that Sir." The butler fidgeted on his chair, feeling his anxiety rise again.

- " Well, something has changed : the Queen herself ordered me to... Take care of Alucard."

His hesitation on the terms he should use was not a good sign. Something quite serious had happened. Walter's heartbeat fastened.

- " To take care Sir ?", he asked with an unintentionaly trembling voice.

- " Yes. I had to lock him up in the basement. I did it earlier this morning. Everything went well. I had told Alucard about it yesterday but I had asked him not to tell you anything. I wanted to be the one telling you about him. I wanted to be sure you'd understand it's a good thing that..."

The butler lost track of the rest of the explanation. In his dazzled condition, he didn't grasp the meaning of the words he was being told; it was as if the silent office had become noisy with the flood of his feelings.

When he realized Arthur was silent Walter came back to reality, looking at his master with wide, wondering eyes. The man was drinking what was left of his glass of whisky. Interpreting it as a way to dismiss him, Walter stood up and bowed as an automaton before going out of the office. Once he had closed the door the butler tottered. His vision was blurred with tears ; he couldn't pretend to handle his feelings anymore. He tried to prevent himself from crying but it was growing more and more difficult as Arthur 's words were now finally sinking in with their fatal meaning.

Walter retired to his room, forgetting for a while about his countenance. He lay down on his bed and allowed himself to cry, cursing himself for not having understood what Alucard had tried to tell him. Remembering every bit of their last conversation, he cried even more. Flashbacks of the last words they had exchanged and the experiences they had shared were haunting his mind.

He slowly calmed down remembering the soathing effect of the kiss they had exchanged. Walter gently brushed his lips with his fingertips and sighed. He was still feeling awfully sad but his mourning would have to wait : his duty was always to be his first care. As Alucard had taught him.

He fought a sob and forced himself to stand up. He slowly reached the door and opened it. Before going out, his head low, he told to the empty space :

- " I hope my lifetime will be enough to see you again, Alucard."

***


End file.
